You are the Potter, I am the clay

Those who know me, know that I don't mince my words. I rather tell it in the face then gossip about it. I admit in the past I have been brutal and very brutal and I am regretful, still am very regretful each time I think about the past. (sorry to those who got the brunt of it). My virtue is to say what I mean and mean what I say but the journey of discovering how to say it without the brutal part is still a learning process. I have mild down, toned down quite a bit already. (Yes, if you are looking at me with that weird and skeptical look.) I have come to experience that sometimes, I don't have to always speak my mind. Does it matter? How will that affect eternity? Somethings are best left unsaid & uncommented - it doesn't really matter. BUTTTT certain things in life do hit a raw nerve and I do not know when and how those raw nerves were left exposed or untreated. For example, the grossly inconsistent policy of "GOOD CUSTOMER SERVICE" aka "GEMS" tha...

Hai, just found out from my friend, that she will NOT be getting her handphone back today as "PROMISED" by NOkia CSO. I am wondering what is wrong again this time. They didn't even tell her what is wrong! Just wait!!!

Sometimes I pity Big Corporations. They spend hours and tonnes of money designing, creating good marketing strategies but only to have their ground staff aka CUSTOMER SERVICE flame up all their efforts, time and MONEY. It's a total waste of money. Does Good Customer Service exist in Singapore? ? ? ? What Customer Service. Just yesterday I went with my friend to the Nokia Care Centre. This is the 3rd time her newly bought Nokia 6280 is giving her problems. 12 days ago, her handphone was returned to her finally after she make a few phone calls to enquire on the status of the repair - (the service centre promised to call her 3 days later but after 3 days, no calls came). On the report, it was just some numbers that a lay person won't understand. What is "L3" repair??? She was informed that her handphone antenna was faulty so a new one was being replaced... but 12 days later, the same problem resurfaced, no network signal whatsoever. At the counter, the CSO just checked ...

This is Simba (the one on the right facing you) and he is making headlines on my blog today. A Labrador Retriever, Fun Loving, Gentle and is quite obedient except when you ask him to stop loving/licking people.... especially excited when he sees people - He's my people dog. :) nb: please be responsible pet owners, own them for life

"there are always 2 sides to a coin and it takes two hands to clap" familiar sayings suggesting that it usually takes two to understand something and two to complete the picture. It's about perspectives. Seeing things from our point of view either makes us very happy people or sad people. It just depends on which angle we view the matter through the type of lenses. A person who has suffered major rejection from close family members will grow up feeling more rejection than love, hence when he or she gets turned down by others will feel a tremondous hurt. Yet those who turn the person down did not have the intention to injure that person emotionally. An objective and genuine "NO" can cause that person to feel low and lousy about himself or herself. Another person with a more positive outlook of life will take the "NO" objectively rather than personally. It's about how a person has been "configured" throughout the years. Experiences of lif...

2 nights ago, I asked a very close friend of mine if I am an insistent person. Haha.. without any second thoughts, she said yes. Wow, that drove a long nail right through my heart. If you ask, you'll get the answers. Of course, initially I would think to myself, I do not think I am an insistent person all the time but I only insist when I am sure about certain things close to my heart i.e. when I have been seeking God about it or it is IN my system due to long periods of conditioning e.g. spiritually or just my personal value system. That analysis certainly made me felt better but it also got me reflecting (truth heals). As I thought through, certainty about something for me will activate a wish/desire to see it happen immediately and NOW. If it is God's will, it is NOW. As I look back on buying our first flat, it was the same. When I first view the unit (my current place), I was quite sure that the house was IT. But my then fiance and husband now do not think so and asked me ...

Watched a talk show last night on channel U and they were debating whether marriage is a good way of keeping couples together. 2 camps. One obviously believes that marriage is an important institution for the community at large. The other do not think that marriage is THE institution for the community. Those who belonged to this line of opinion felt that marriage is only a paper, a contract and an agreement that does not prove anything. Love between two couples can carry on without this agreement. This mindset stems from the perception that if one gets married, one can get divorce (easily) as well. Therefore, if the agreement can be so easily broken why have it in the first place. The escalating trend of divorce has discriminated the sacred act of marriage. For people who feels that marriage is only a contract, I feel sorry for them. I believe that love for each other finally should bring us to a commitment to want to live lives together and share the good and bad. For better, for wors...

I attended a memorial service of Pastor Derek Tan, Former President of TCA, the bible school which I graduated from. It was a night of remembering. The fondest memory I have of him was his sense of humour. Last night, a lecturer of the bible school gave her eulogy, his sense of humour once again surfaced. On his hospital bed, he asked his fellow colleague to bring him some good food. When asked what he would like to eat, he asked for sharks' fins. Food and humour. As I sat where I was listening to the eulogies, I asked myself, what a person be most remembered for? For Pastor Derek Tan, he will always be remembered for his kindness and graciousness, beyond all that he has accomplished, a man like him will always be remembered by how he has treated others. No hint of ranks lurks each time I sit in his room after a semester ends to discuss which courses I should be taking for the next semester. He would talk to me like how would talk to a friend. I will always remember his reassuring ...

Yes, I have a new blogskin aka template. Decided to make it brighter :) While travelling to work this morning, this passage came to my mind. Habbakuk 3:17 - 19 Though the fig tree should not blossom And there be no fruit on the vines, Though the yield of the olive should fail And the fields produce no food, Though the flock should be cut off from the fold And there be no cattle in the stalls, Yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, And He has made my feet like hinds' feet, And makes me walk on my high places. Will I still praise and delight in Him when I do not immediately receive relief from pain? Will I still love Him and cling to Him when I do not immediately receive answers? Will I continue to have faith if what happens around me do not harmonize with what I believe? Will I allow God sovereignty to over-rule? i must.

Just came back from Batu Pahat for our church retreat 2006. I really enjoyed the pace of the retreat and also took time to get to talk to people I see in church on sundays that I seldom get a chance to talk to. It was also a time for many to share their testimonies and it was a good time listening to most of the people who shared their journeys. I want to thank God for helping me find some answers in this camp. There were also a few things that a few people spoke that had impacted my thoughts. I shall write it here and remember these phrases for a long time and come back to it as and when I need to. I paraphrase: 1. Be like a child - simply trust and believe - don't ask why why why... 2. To win the prize, the heavenward prize, all we need to do is to complete the race 3. Have faith in God, pray and believe in the impossible but LET HIM decide on the timing 4. Understanding the experience is important as well as responding to the experience 5. Power need not only be something outwar...

Empower Me by Claire Cloninger, David T. Clydesdale Verse 1: Nobody knows how weak I am, better than You; Nobody sees all of my needs, better than You. And nobody has the power to change me, from what I was born to be. Jesus be strong in my weakness, empower me! Chorus: Empower me, like a rushing river flowing to the sea. Lord, send Your Holy Spirit flowing now through me. Till I'm living as Your child, victorious and free, send the power of Your love, empower me. Verse 2: Nobody's eyes see through my soul, better than Yours; Nobody's love can make me whole, no one but Yours. And nobody has the power to lift me, to reach for eternity. Jesus break through all my defenses, empower me. It's interesting how songs have a way with me. The song above was a song I sang several years ago at my graduation from TCA. Tears rolled down my eyes as I was singing this song and the tears kept on rushing down my face, faster than I could wipe them away. I wasn't sure why but I knew ...

It's my second straight week of leading worship and it's been a while since I had such a routine. Wierd as it may sound, I am leading two hymns again this week. I'm not really a hymns person but it seems that the divine has something else in mind. Last week, I led "On Higher Ground" and "Pass me not" This week, my repertoire of songs include "I don't know about tomorrow" and "It is well with my soul". To be honest, on Monday night, I was trying very hard to shake these two songs out of my mind but it never materialized. Finally I 'gave in' to the divine because obviously, He knows what HE IS DOING. Chance or Divine? I always believed everything happens for a reason and the reason is sometimes only known to the Father. We may not even get to know the reason but obedience does not require us to know/understand everything. Some people believe in chance. Leaving our life to chance seems fatalistic. It does not require our in...

Last night I watched SG Idol, Theatre Auditions. It recapped how 100 became 28. Needless to say, those who didn't make the mark were sad or rather downtrodden and cried as if it was the end of the world. To all these who can't take "NO" for an answer, I sympathize with them. Roxeann - her 2nd attempt to audition for SG Idol. When announced that she was not in, she pleaded with the judges while the rest of her other contestants walked out of the exit door, with their head held low. She asked the judges shamelessly to let her into the competition.. harllow??? (cynical tone + look) Dick gave a good reason: "How can we let you in when we asked the rest to go home". She was very desperate and kept pleading... Ken gave a good word of wisdom: "Face the defeat bravely and you will improve". Outside the doors, Gurmit and Daniel were there to offer their comfort to the disheartened losers. I thought SG Idol placed too much emphasis on those who were booted o...

Hi. Just blog on something lighter than usual. :) It's my 29th Birthday today. 29 years ago, God decided that I should be on earth and here I am. Sometimes I question my own existence, but that aside I am here and I should make the best of my time here. My husband celebrated my birthday 3 days earlier as we have prayer meeting in church today. It's ok with me, after all it's just a day and as long as HE remembers, I'm glad. He told me that we were going to a posh place to eat and to dress my best. I told him for me to meet his request, I need to buy a dress to match the occassion, he willingly gave his consent but peppered here and there with some remarks that I already have a few dresses in my wardrobe and are some seldom worn. On Monday, I bought the dress at lightning speed (within 10 mins). The price was right, the fit was nice and I was happy. I wore that dress to "THE DINING ROOM" for the dinner that he would buy me. We ordered a dozen of fresh oysters ...

ET is currently on security alert 505. I do not know exactly what the numbers stand for but I know the situation has gone worse. Jason was telling me that 15 military police rebelled and tooks some weapons out of the military citing that it was a command issued from the top. It was found out too late. It seemed that this morning, relegated soldiers and those are in the force had a shoot out. The organization which Jason is in has ordered a 'evacuation' - meaning that the organization would shut down and all of them were asked to leave the country. On 28 April, when we descended upon Dili, the worse of the riot began. 20 May 2006 was supposed to be the nation's 4th celebration of Independence. Celebration? Far from it. What has independence brought? Higher cost of living - ET is using USD as their nation's currency (under the Indonesian rule, they were using rupiah). A plate of fried rice cost USD4.00, Education costs between USD$5 to USD$15 per month and a taxi ride to ...

Yesterday I attended my last life group meeting with the Olives. It was interesting how God began speaking to me. First it was through the song: By the Power of Your Love. While we sang, my eyes rested on the words: "As I wait, I'll rise up like and eagle"... following that song, Aunty Doris closed in prayer. In her prayer she mentioned two pictures, a raw diamond and a polished diamond and was asking God to polish us so that we sparkle. I recalled quickly that God had spoken to me with these two pictures when He called me into full time ministry. God was saying, He would polish me so that I would sparkle. After our bible study, the LG celebrated my birthday (a week in advance). Aunty Doris prayed for me and it seems to me that God was once again reaffirming my call in full time. When prayer was over and the cake was cut and distributed, Veron came over to me and told me that when she laid her hands on me, she saw an eagle soaring strongly and steadily. She sensed that G...

I just returned from Ipoh, went there on invitation by my colleague to visit her god-son's home town and to 'keep her company'. This trip was particularly refreshing for me as I had time to really unpack and pack up my thoughts and feelings properly. I had a lot time to reflect and to pray. Sometimes I just think nothing and enjoy His Presence. His assuring presence has certainly strengthen me. Indeed, listening to God is the most important. There are one thousand and one things that requires our attention, which one first, LORD? Until God says, do this, I guess, I won't move.... it's not easy because humanly, we would always want to do something to 'prove our worth'. Sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously. Yet, our worth is not in what we can do, we don't need to prove ourselves in order to be loved, we are already loved and valued by our Eternal Father, whether we can do or not. Being approved by God? - May we know his word, read his word, u...

This is my fourth trip to East Timor. It was certainly an exciting trip. On the average we spent about 4 hours on the road daily. When we arrived there on the first day, 28 April, we smacked right into the final day of the riots. The disgruntled soldiers who were dismissed from the military started a protest. In Singapore, we never had protest so it was "exciting" to see a group of people holding axes and sticks in their hands walking towards you. I had to do a "3 point turn" and turn back. Instead of going to the Orphange, we left for Baucau, the 2nd largest city of ET. It was about 3 hours drive from Dili and the road conditions were fine. Comfort would be the last thing on my mind. I would be happy to have a roof over my head. The rooms in Baucau cost only US$10. The bathroom was communal type, water was cold and electricity was cut off at 12am... we had to open our room doors as it was getting quite warm in the room. Most of us woke up at 2.3oam to the commo...

Hmm. It's the Eve of my East Timor Trip. Actually it is another few hours time... before I go to the airport :) After packing my bags and reflecting on some things, I actually came up with the FULL VERSION of ENOUGH. not sure why I had the inspiration, I'm sure it must be the Holy Spirit. Here's the lyrics.. I've changed the 3rd line of the chorus from: "I won't care what people may say" to "I won't fear what people may say" It's more fear than indifference that we face sometimes for taking the narrow way -i.e. the road less travelled by many. Enough Verse 1: Jesus, thank you for your life Living Sacrifice, You were crucified Jesus, help me live your life I lay aside my pride To know You is my prize Chorus: I will choose the narrow way Take the narrow path I won't fear what people may say You are more than enough for me You are my eternity Verse 2: Jesus, your love has changed my life Shepherd of the blind, you gently lead and guide...

1 Corinthians 13:4 - 7 4Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. 6It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Recently I am finding it difficult to reconcile the call to love from the bible and living the love in this real world. No wonder people always quote, "realities are harsh". Am I being too idealistic or naive? I wonder as well. While biblical love advocates, patience, kindness, not proud nor rude, not irritable, keeps no record of wrong yet in real life it is hard to reconcile what I know about love with the act of not loving as I should. I am still searching and asking myself and it has weighed me down for a full long day or days. I wish I could abandon this search and rescue mission of my own h...