Skip to main content

Tough Balance of Love

1 Corinthians 13:4 - 7
4Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. 6It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7Love never gives
up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Recently I am finding it difficult to reconcile the call to love from the bible and living the love in this real world. No wonder people always quote, "realities are harsh". Am I being too idealistic or naive? I wonder as well.

While biblical love advocates, patience, kindness, not proud nor rude, not irritable, keeps no record of wrong yet in real life it is hard to reconcile what I know about love with the act of not loving as I should. I am still searching and asking myself and it has weighed me down for a full long day or days. I wish I could abandon this search and rescue mission of my own heart. I want to love the way the Word of God has defined but my wayward heart seems to be drawn further and further away from this truth. I am not sure why this apparent discrepancy is beating louder than ever. Truth is, it has always been there but I had never found the silence annoying. How I wished it would remain silenced, forever, buried beyond the abyss of eternity.

For me, to love unconditionally weighs on a tough balance. I want to love, i really really do. Yet I find it difficult to love when I disagree with the way things are done, I can't love. Whenever I disagree, I can't love. The only way when I can probably bring myself to love is probably if I were blind or deaf... Lord am I being deceived - save meeee

there's no escape route, no emergency door, I have to go through this, it seems.

That's why Christians are often branded as hypocrites. We have all the standards, set all the standards but are usually the ones who fail all the standards. Gandhi was put off one day when he was not allowed into the church because of his race. His life changed forever, literally. (http://jmm.aaa.net.au/articles/552.htm - check out this link for a brief history of the incident)

I have failed to love the way I should. The fact is, I am a feeler more than a thinker. I wish I am a thinker more than a feeler on such occassions when my heart fails me. I wanna love, yet when I don't sense the sincerity and genuine-ness of my own heart, i can't bring myself to act and pretend. I can't fool myself, let alone fool others.

Maybe I should love with my mind more than my heart. I hope to find my answers really soon. God help me as I grope along. Show me your face.

Comments

r.u.t.h. said…
yea. love is looking beyond the flaws... Jesus saw beyond my faults.

thanks george!
12:22 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

truth hurts but it heals too

2 nights ago, I asked a very close friend of mine if I am an insistent person. Haha.. without any second thoughts, she said yes. Wow, that drove a long nail right through my heart. If you ask, you'll get the answers. Of course, initially I would think to myself, I do not think I am an insistent person all the time but I only insist when I am sure about certain things close to my heart i.e. when I have been seeking God about it or it is IN my system due to long periods of conditioning e.g. spiritually or just my personal value system. That analysis certainly made me felt better but it also got me reflecting (truth heals). As I thought through, certainty about something for me will activate a wish/desire to see it happen immediately and NOW. If it is God's will, it is NOW. As I look back on buying our first flat, it was the same. When I first view the unit (my current place), I was quite sure that the house was IT. But my then fiance and husband now do not think so and asked me ...
7 comments
Read more

God leads us along

I attended a memorial service of Pastor Derek Tan, Former President of TCA, the bible school which I graduated from. It was a night of remembering. The fondest memory I have of him was his sense of humour. Last night, a lecturer of the bible school gave her eulogy, his sense of humour once again surfaced. On his hospital bed, he asked his fellow colleague to bring him some good food. When asked what he would like to eat, he asked for sharks' fins. Food and humour. As I sat where I was listening to the eulogies, I asked myself, what a person be most remembered for? For Pastor Derek Tan, he will always be remembered for his kindness and graciousness, beyond all that he has accomplished, a man like him will always be remembered by how he has treated others. No hint of ranks lurks each time I sit in his room after a semester ends to discuss which courses I should be taking for the next semester. He would talk to me like how would talk to a friend. I will always remember his reassuring ...
5 comments
Read more

it's a girl!

Ok. after a long wait. Finally... the gynae is able to confirm that the baby is a girl. Although the disclaimer clause states 80% - 90% accuracy. :) Quite happy that every 'structure' is in place. She has 2 eyes, one nose, one mouth. two hands with five fingers on each hand, a beating heart, 2 kidneys, one stomach a brain... , one tiny head, feet measuring 3cm each and liver... (the nurse in the clinic used the word 'structure' so .....) The detailed scan is suppose to detect any abnormalities so the result so far is normal.... Curious to find out though what she will look like. I am thinking of keeping long hair for her but daddy says, no, short hair better. So, till then... we shall see. yup and not forgetting to keep praying for her to be a teachable and moldable kid and one who will love God always.
7 comments
Read more