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truth hurts but it heals too

2 nights ago, I asked a very close friend of mine if I am an insistent person. Haha.. without any second thoughts, she said yes. Wow, that drove a long nail right through my heart. If you ask, you'll get the answers. Of course, initially I would think to myself, I do not think I am an insistent person all the time but I only insist when I am sure about certain things close to my heart i.e. when I have been seeking God about it or it is IN my system due to long periods of conditioning e.g. spiritually or just my personal value system. That analysis certainly made me felt better but it also got me reflecting (truth heals).

As I thought through, certainty about something for me will activate a wish/desire to see it happen immediately and NOW. If it is God's will, it is NOW. As I look back on buying our first flat, it was the same. When I first view the unit (my current place), I was quite sure that the house was IT. But my then fiance and husband now do not think so and asked me to keep my options opened but how could I when I knew in the depths of my heart that it is the place God will let us have it. It was only 3 months later, we were led back to the same unit after seeing countless ones. During those times I had to grapple with my own 'disappointments'. Did God really say I will have that unit??? Did I hear wrongly or what? When we finally got the unit, we paid 10K lesser than when we first saw it.

Recently, I sensed in my heart that God is asking me to wait on him. Remember the vision of the eagle that Veron had for me and I had inner witness that God was speaking to my heart. The word came again when William was sharing about waiting for the sunrise at the retreat. God didn't tell him what time but to just wait. It hit me again the second time. I believe all that I am going through now is all linked as I am reflecting.

Waiting on God is not something that is passive or a period of idleness. The Eagle, when he is old, will retire to a place where the rocks are. While there, he plucks out every feather on his body until he is completely bare. He stays in this hiding place until he has grown new feathers, then comes out again. The Eagle waits so that his strength is renewed. Before he can soar above the storm, he must wait in the caves for his feathers to be grown again. Imagine those times when he appears to be the most defenseless. Waiting can make us look defenseless but waiting will renew us when we do the right thing i.e. pluck out the old and worn feathers!

The feathers of mine has to be plucked out, the renewal will come when I am ready to change the way I see things. When God speaks, it doesn't have to happen now but the assurance is that it will take place later. I don't have to insist that God's will happens, if it happens, it will be a God orchestrated event. Even if it doesn't happen the way I want it, it is God's perogative. He is God.

All the past weeks of waiting on God is beginning to make sense as I reflected on what my friend had said. Truth hurts but truth also heals when we take on the right attitude towards it. What's more important is that my friend spoke the truth without being malicious or with the intention of damaging.

Lord I am waiting on you.

Comments

r.u.t.h. said…
welcomes.. took a while to come to this stage of reckoning...
DoMiniC said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DoMiniC said…
Yep! I'll rather live in the truth that hurts than live in lies that blinds. =) Way to go!
r.u.t.h. said…
hi dom..

didn't know you read my blog. just don't link me can already.
DoMiniC said…
Ha i started reading it a long time ago. Dun worry, i did not link you. =)
keep_running said…
eh, thought I told you long ago that you are insistent? power packed. But it's in His time that this is brought to surface. :) Yeah!
r.u.t.h. said…
hmm did you?

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