You are the Potter, I am the clay

Sis Luan Keow has gone home to be with the Lord this morning. It's definitely a loss to all her closed ones. Yet, it's not a loss to God. She is definitely in a better place. Thank God that she has lived and she has lived for His glory. In mourning for her.

WHY? It's the greatest word ever invented. I admit, I ask lots of questions. Sometimes I get the answers and sometimes I don't. When I was younger, I had wanted to be a detective and a lawyer but somehow along the way, I drifted from my ambitions. Yet a larger part of me is still inquisitive. I ask because I want to know and find out. I don't take "Yes" and "No" as answers on a superficial level especially when the issue is something very important and noteworthy. I question the motives, the reasons behind the answers, behind the actions and the plans. At times I can be quite irritating I must say. My preference for details have further added to my inquisitive disposition. It is normal for me to see things from every angle and I especially delight in seeing cross sections, dissections, bird's eye view and what not. Of course, I do not tire myself by going into every details of life but only some things that really matter to me. I ask questions but I ...

Meditations from “Conversations with Jesus” by Calvin Miller (Harvest House Publishing) I have a few literary heroes. One of them is Calvin Miller. One skill I marvel and attempt to learn from him is the way he goes INTO scripture. This morning's reading was from Matthew 3:12. “And His winnowing fork is in His hand, and He will thoroughly clear the threshing floor; and He will gather His wheat into the barn, but He will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.” (NASB) He gave a simple exposition and compared the chaff from the wheat. As I was reading it and meditating on it, I also noted that the winnowing fork serves the same function towards the chaff and the wheat. It acts to thresh both wheat and chaff at the same time. The one that gets blown away i.e. chaff will be burnt. The one that stays i.e. wheat will be gathered into the barn. It is the weight, the substance of the chaff or wheat that determines whether it goes or stays. The winnowing fork only stirs. The chaff being w...

As I type this post, my colleague and Sis in Christ has a sis in KL who is unable to communicate with her now. Months ago, we met her and we prayed with her for her healing. We prayed earnestly and desired her healing. Back home where she is, there's a group of intercessors surrounding her, keeping her in vigilant prayers. She is suffering from a rare type of cancer and has a tumor growing, pressing on her other organs and threatens to protude out of her. She had been in pain and was on morphine weeks ago. Why was she not healed despite the earnest prayers of many? I don't know... maybe our faith for her to be healed was selfish, maybe God wants her home, maybe God wants us to persist in prayer until the miracle happens. What must we do? It's interesting that I came across Deut 29:29 today and it says "The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our sons forever, that we may observe all the words of this law." I don...

Sometimes I wish prayer is like a magic wand. How I wish, with a single wave of it, I will be able to get what I want and what I want now. There are times when God answers my prayer almost immediately like when I prayed for a parking lot, in the late night while raining and with heavy things to carry up to my house. Knowing the situation was almost impossible, I prayed with my simple faith. Lo and behold, I saw an empty lot and I praised God for that. It was almost a split second - the prayer and the answer. There are times, like now when I am still praying, believing and hoping for my family to be saved. Humanly speaking, it's a long way although my parents seemed opened about church. I am praying that my brother and sister will return to God as well but it seems that my prayers will take quite some time to be answered. While faith is the vehicle to answered prayers sometimes I wonder to myself, how much faith is enough faith? Perhaps it's unwavering faith, perhaps it's pe...

I remembered posting a short thought that Jesus was born in a manger. One of the reasons cited was because there was no room for Him. Yet I believe the Servant King chose the manger over any 5 star hotel because He wanted access with people. The place where least attention would be drawn to, where the crowd would not be found, where the Shepherds could enter freely. Jesus intentionally positioned himself where the lowly was. It was on purpose that He chose to be born in a manger. I am sure the angels would have thought of a place more appropriate for their King, in the end, Jesus had the final say: "I will be born in a manger!" Books closed. He chose accessibility over comfort, over status, over reputation. No wonder John in his gospel used the word "Tabernacled" among men. He made earth His dwelling where earth used to be his footstool. This is service without the glam. He came down to our level. The unsung heroes of our time are those who served without the attent...

Ok. after a long wait. Finally... the gynae is able to confirm that the baby is a girl. Although the disclaimer clause states 80% - 90% accuracy. :) Quite happy that every 'structure' is in place. She has 2 eyes, one nose, one mouth. two hands with five fingers on each hand, a beating heart, 2 kidneys, one stomach a brain... , one tiny head, feet measuring 3cm each and liver... (the nurse in the clinic used the word 'structure' so .....) The detailed scan is suppose to detect any abnormalities so the result so far is normal.... Curious to find out though what she will look like. I am thinking of keeping long hair for her but daddy says, no, short hair better. So, till then... we shall see. yup and not forgetting to keep praying for her to be a teachable and moldable kid and one who will love God always.

I was writing the weekly devotions for the kids in the sunday school. This week and following, we will be focusing on Christmas. While writing on Jesus being found in the manger in Luke 2, suddenly I sense a nudging to meditate further what I was reading. No hotels, no red carpets, no standing ovation, no trumpet to welcome his arrival. All that was available was a lowly manger. A place unfit for the Messiah, Son of God and King of kings. Secondly, Luke wrote that an angel appeared to a group of shepherds and revealed to them the whereabouts of Jesus. The shepherds decided to take the look and were exceedingly joyful when they saw him. If there was any grand announcements, it came from the angels... As I meditated through, the manger and the shepherds connected well. Shepherds were low-class labour, manual jobs in those days. They carry a stench of smell and were most unwelcome anywhere. The manger was the most appropriate for them. The most accessible place for the willing and humbled...

I wonder why one would give testimonies about sharing the gospel, having compassion for the lost and in another instance showed a very reluctant look when posted to a home for carolling that in one's opinion might not serve 'good food'. It has been clearly announced that carolling this year is not merely a time of merry making but also a time for soul winning. So, is it about the quality of food? NO! I am appalled by the inconsistencies. Where is the compassion deposited 2 prayer meetings ago? I wonder and wonder at the callousness. I wish i wasn't there to see and hear it for myself. . .

Firstly, I must begin by thanking God for 'repairing' my handphone. Over the the last week, it kept hanging and rebooting by itself. I finally grasp the phone in my hand and prayed that my handphone will function normally again, and from that saturday on, it didn't reboot nor hung up on me. Thank God - otherwise i will have to buy a new phone because of the line contract. Eversince our PM made announcement about the proposal to increase GST by another 2% which makes it 7%, there has been much talk. There's a good reason why. The reason for increasing direct taxes is of course to improve revenue so that our lives will improve but most importantly, the lower income group will benefit from this exercise. Honestly, I do not understand how our lives will improve. Health care is still a potential liability. Our children's education will not be free - eventhough primary, secondary, jc fees are considered relatively reasonable. (well thank God for education) From a either s...

I am just thinking, why am I so honest sometimes about my failings? Just before I begun leading worship last week, I told the congregation that sometimes we grumble and complain more than we give thanks to God. As I told the congregation to give thanks to God, He pointed out to me my lack of thanksgiving that Sunday morning. I was completely honest about it and held nothing back as I shared with the congregation that I was grumbling about how slowly my husband was driving from home to church. Instead of thanking God for the car (because my brother is away for one month), I grumbled. Confession is good for the soul because the next time before I grumble, I will remember that I had repented from it and that I should refrain my flesh from doing so. Paul in 2 Cor 11:30 (NLT), "If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am."He repeats this phrase again in 2 Cor 12:5 "... I am going to boast only about my weaknesses." In context, He had re...

I was told not to put an unfamiliar song as the starting song for the song set. The simple reason being, if the congregation (those at the back of the sanctuary), do not know the first song well enough to sing it, they will switch off for the rest of the songs that would follow. Until now, I still quite disagree with it. My simple and plain observation is this, the people at the back do not usually sing, whether familiar or unfamiliar. I have tried putting two hymns back to back on my song set but sometimes they simply do not sing and/or worship. Yes, we as worship leaders should serve the congregation. I fully agree but I wavered. I wavered at whether I should serve people's lousy attitude (not wanting to learn the song and switching off simply because they are unfamiliar with the first song i.e. wanting to be served instead) or simply making worship accessible. At last, I decided to change the order on my song set. I began by singing a familar song (although I still did not quite...

For a long while since, I have never felt the pressure to live up to anybody's expectations. I usually make my own decision and I really don't bother with what others think about my decision. HOWEVER, this time round I feel so 'caught'. What would I do after I give birth. Will I quit my job and stay home full time to look after my kid? This question plagues me. We are exploring the options and we are open to what God will say to us. I know God can speak against my personal desires and I am willing to submit to Him as long as it is what God is saying. As of now, i am not inclined to quit from my job but I can feel that there are expectations for me from others to do so. To me, the call to full time ministry has been one that came from the Lord (one of the most major decisions in my life i ever had to make), so to quit, I need to hear from Him. That's the great dilemma I am in now. Should I just make a maternalistic and logical decision and do what I am expected to do...

I can't perform the miracle, make someone feel better or convert someone by my sheer eloquence. There is nothing in me. I have nothing. I am only a vessel, a channel that God in his grace and mercy chooses to use. Neither am I a worm but I know where I am in God. I am His servant, Paul often referred himself as the bondslave of Christ. A bondslave is one who had been set free and returns freely to serve his master. The key is, service and servant. He does what the Master asks of him and in this, will be the servant's delight i.e. that the Master's task is done and He is pleased with my service. I am still trying to understand what it means to be satisfied in God. Why do I love Jesus? Is it because of what He can do for me? I'm still meditating. What if He doesn't answer an important prayer I make and say YES? Will i still love Him? Why do I love Jesus? I am still searching my heart. Before I know why, I will still love Him and serve Him. I am only a valueless, weak ...

What is worship? The word first appeared in Genesis 22:5 "Stay here with the donkey, and I and the lad will go over there; we will worship and return to you." Abraham was about to take Isaac and offer to the Lord as he was being instructed. It is interesting to note that the first understanding of worship from the bible was not about songs and music. Worship is first of all obedience to the Lord our Creator and Giver, and that obedience resulted in sacrifice of the highest price. I firmly believe that worship is not just about the songs we sing on sundays or songs we sing sing during a gathering of believers. It is the overflowing expression of our love and obedience for the Lord that causes us to sing with love, with joy, with awe, with admiration to the Lord. Without an abiding relationship with God on a daily basis, our singing to Him will mean nothing to Him but noise. Amos 5:21 - 24 (NASB) "I hate, I reject your festivals, Nor do I delight in your solemn assemblies....

Had a good dinner with a friend and was discussing about the power of money. It is so invisible yet so powerful. With money, lots of things can be done. One can buy shelter, food, luxury, status, friendship, comfort, image, style, convenience etc... that's why we do everything we can to obtain it. Once you have it, you almost have the world. The force is so powerful, some spend their entire life chasing after it. Jesus often challenged about serving either God or Money. If we serve one, we can't serve the other. The quest for wealth will distract us from the pursuits of God and His will. Yet the love of money is such a silent killer. We never know how it has a hold on us until we are drawn into its invincible realm. There are many ways to justify this quest i.e. be responsible, provide for your family and all that. Beneath the disguise is an addiction to the power money brings. Having loads of it makes one feels in control, in charge. Especially in this world where dollars and ...

Ok, by now everybody knows that the Pastor of a Mega Church in Colorado Springs has admitted to charges on "sexual immoral conducts". (you can google ted haggard to find out more). No, I am not about to criticize him. I've heard this man before. Very eloquent and is Spirit Filled. Speaks with conviction and is gentle in his challenge. I was surprised as well when I read the news. He has issued a letter of apology but is now on leave from the Church. I am not sure the extend of his "sexual immoral conducts" but well.. a spade is a spade. It's interesting my post yesterday was on "character". It's a sober reminder that everyone of us is not exempted from Satan's attack. The origin of sin began with deception. Satan lures us to believe in lies before he leads us into his trap. He is the Systematic Tempter, never underestimate him. If we do not posture ourselves to walk in humility i.e. I need someone to help me see my blindspots, walk in tr...

Yesterday nite at LG, we were asked, how has God been shaping us? I remembered years ago, God showed me two pictures. One was a picture of a raw ore and the other was the picture of a sparkling diamond. God said He would shape me and mould me from the ore into the diamond. Years later as I evaluate how God has shaped me, all I can say is that I have become a more patient person than I was years ago. I've learnt to let things take its shape and let God step in when it is not my time to do anything or say anything. Yet it's not my past that God wants me to measure myself against i.e "how bad I was and how better I have become". The molding process never stops and continues on. Before I pat myself on the shoulder too quickly, God has placed even more patient people around me. One is my fellow colleague and friend and the other my husband. Each time I am about to congratulate myself for having come 'so far' in my journey, I look at these people whose patience e...

Beautiful Lord Wonderful Saviour I know for sure All of my days are Held in Your hands Crafted into You perfect plans You gently call me Into Your Presence Guiding me by Your Holy Spirit Teach me dear Lord To live all my life Through Your eyes I'm captured by Your holy calling Set me apart, I know You're drawing Me to yourself, lead me Lord I pray Take me, mould me Use me, fill me I give my life to the Potter's hand Call me, guide me Lead me, walk beside me I give my life to the Potter's hand God used this song to speak to me almost 5 1/2 years ago when he was challenging me to quit my job and to go into full time ministry. I had nothing to lose in a sense that my job wasn't exactly high paying. Yet, there was an air of uncertain that looms as I make my decision to quit. I remembered sitting on the left side of the church sanctary. Throughout the whole time of praise and worship, I was uneasy. When this song came, I broke down because I couldn't sing and mean i...

Most Word-Faith teachers will use Mark 11:22 - 24 to justify their teaching and practise on "Faith as Positive Confession". Mark 11:22 - 24 (NASB) 22And Jesus answered saying to them, "Have faith in God. 23Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and castinto the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he saysis going to happen, it will be granted him. 24Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe thatyou have received them, and they will be granted you. 25Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone,so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. Word-Faith teachers propogate that whatever you confess will come to pass but you must believe you have already received it. Therefore, if you still have lingering symptoms of an illness, confess that you are healed and not mention your symptoms then you are healed. I believe there's a ...

1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 2 Indeed, by faith our ancestors received approval. 3 By faith we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so that what is seen was made from things that are not visible.4 By faith Abel offered to God a more acceptable sacrifice than Cain's. Through this he received approval as righteous, God himself giving approval to his gifts; he died, but through his faith he still speaks. 5 By faith Enoch was taken so that he did not experience death; and "he was not found, because God had taken him." For it was attested before he was taken away that "he had pleased God." 6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, for whoever would approach him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. 7 By faith Noah, warned by God about events as yet unseen, respected the warning and built an ark to save his household; by this he condemned the w...

Chanced upon the story of Roger Youderian. His name might not ring a bell to most of us but he was with Jim Elliot, Nate Saint, Peter Fleming, Ed McCully when they were speared to their death on Palm Beach, 8 January, 1956. A history of martyrdom not too remote from us. Today, I'm not going to talk about Jim Elliot. I'm going to talk about Roger Youderian. In the book "Through the gates of splendour", a short excerpt about him tells us that he was trained to play the piano from young, but at the age of 9, he suffered from Polio and had to give up playing piano for the rest of his life. In his late 20s, he and his wife left for Ecuador and met up with Jim Elliot later on to provide air transport for the missionaries as well as medical supplies to the tribal groups they were working with. I wonder, what was a man with Polio doing in Ecuador? Why didn't God heal him so that he can move with ease and speed? Was he in the will of God or not in the will of God? Please d...

Ok. I admit, I use my mind a lot. I think a lot about many things in life. It used to be a great barrier for me to understand 'spiritual things'. For example, I didn't know how to see vision, how does the word of knowledge and word of wisdom operate. It is something abstract and uncomprehendable at stage of my life when I was exploring. Over the years, as I walked the journey of all these, God has taught me lots of important lessons. There was even a time when I was told "not to think so much" just be led by the Spirit of God. As I looked back, I realized that the MIND is an important faculty that God has created. WE are to love the Lord our God, with all our HEART, our SOUL, our MIND and our STRENGTH. We are to love God with our thoughts and what we think about. The MIND has to be renewed so that IT CAN APPROVE/DISCERN the will of the Lord - Romans 12:2. The MIND is the only faculty if renewed would be able to KNOW/APPROVE and discern God's will. God's wi...

Matthew 10:39 "He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it." (NASB) This one week, I've been thinking about this verse. I am still challenged and thinking how to lose my life for His sake. Am I still a surrendered disciple to His purpose and will? Am I still surrendering my life to Him everyday. As I thought through this verse by putting my life against it, sometimes I think I don't live for Him enough. There is still this portion of my life reserved for myself. It's like the weed that has to be constantly pulled out so that it doesn't overgrow and crowd out the wheats that are growing well. It's so easy to be satisfied with the status quo of life. It is so easy to miss what God is doing as I become more and more dependent on myself and on the things that surround me everyday. When a want becomes a need, I make myself believe that what I want is what I really need. But Jesus says in Matthew 10:29 - 30 ...

60 cents was all it took for me. I voted once for Hady simply because I wanted to play a part in making him the Singapore Idol that I would be proud of. Not that Jonathon is not good but like what I said, he is too "packaged" for my liking. I asked myself why I supported Hady more than I supported Jonathon. As I thought about it, I think the reason why Hady appealed to me more was because he exudes himself, he's original, he's sincere and he is vocally reliable - a comment by Jacintha. You can find Jon-types everywhere in the market. Shoulder length hair, rocker-style, rocker sounding, etc... While Hady may not have yet developed the full 'package' of a star I believe as the day goes by, his style infused with his personality will win him many fans. No one is born a star, everyone is made a star. His advantage, he has good vocals and I'm sure as he works on it, he'll grow in style. I guess I have little tolerance for cookie-cutter type of artist. I ha...

After last night's competition, I realized that my choice for the Singapore Idol had came down to my personal preference. Honestly, both finalists sang well. However, I couldn't bring myself to support Jonathon even though he has the overall package to be a 'regional singer'. I wasn't drawn to Jonathon because no matter how stylish he looked or sounded, I felt I wasn't getting the real thing from him. He was too 'packaged' in my own opinion and too 'packaged' for me. As for Hady, I think it is his personal style, his tone of voice, his ability to inteprete and bring out the essence of the song that causes me to pay more attention to him. It's very strange that whenever Jonathon comes onto the stage, my ears would shut off voluntarily, maybe I have already stereotyped him. Not maybe, I have. So, the results will be out tonight. I hope Hady will be the Singapore idol and I hope that my 60 cents vote will make a difference.

Yes, Pope Benedict has made a politically incorrect statement. He is not just someone who represents the religious institution but he is also a political figure. Yes, he quoted from the Byzantine Emperor who was a Christian. Yes, early Christianity also spread through the sword via the crusades but let's not deny that ugly history existed on both sides, just admit it. I am not defending the Pope. I think his comments were uncalled for and inappropriate at this time especially after the anniversary of the September 11 event. But ask ourselves, who drove the planes into the World Trade Center? Can we ignore this reality, this fact, in our present time? Yes, we must not go on hating and we must through legal means apprehend the perpetrators and we must not brand all as bad and extreme. But did anybody apologize for Sep 11????? Did those who lost their loved ones, hit the streets in demonstrations, demanding an apology and went on to hurt the innocent who happen to share the same dress...

Ok, i've managed to create this link :P enjoy the picsss

Firstly, I would like to thank God that so far, I am still not feeling too sick in my body as a result of my pregnancy. In fact, sometimes, I forget that I am pregnant. The only uncomfortable thing I am experiencing right now is that I don't really have much appetite for food especially the oily stuff. When it comes to meal times, I would really have to think hard about what food to eat. Due to my poor appetite, I resorted to satisfying my cravings. If I crave for something, I should eat it since in the natural sense I have no desire for anything else. The sad part the stalls that could satisfy my craving were closed. My favourite fried chicken wing stall at Toa Payoh Lor 5 was closed!!! This morning, I went to Toa Payoh Lor 3, for my favourite "Kuey Chap", but the stall was closed as well. I resolve to try again tomorrow. Talk about being persistent. :) I really thank God that I am not puking although sometimes I do feel nauseas especially after taking too much dairy a...

I went to the gynae yesterday. For the first time, I heard and saw the baby's heartbeat through the ultrasound scan. It's quite amazing at this point. The gynae told me that the baby is not feeding from me yet, it is attached to a yolk and the yolk is where it draws its nutrients from. It's just great to think that when God created the reproduction system, God saw to every detail. I wonder where did the yolk come from and how it is attached to the baby. It's a mystery to me but it causes me to sing yet again in praise to God. When people heard that I was pregnant, they would expressed their excitement in WOWS & YAYS. For myself, I didn't had such an expression. When I found out that I was pregnant via the test kit, I went "Oh, I am pregnant" - as a matter of factly. Similarly, when Adrian found out that I was pregnant, he had the same response as me. We weren't into screaming the whole house/neighbourhood down. For us, it was sober and thoughtful. ...

One of my bible school teacher, Mrs Angelina Eu, would always tell the class, the longest distance on earth is from the head to the heart. I agree fully. It's one thing to know and another to do. We don't need any more proofs to this truth because if we take a serious look into our own hearts, we know it has always been true. Why doesn't knowledge (biblical truths) make us better people? Because it doesn't until we have converted knowledge to be part of our lives so that they become principles that govern our decision making at any realm. I'm not a saint if you don't already know by now and I don't pretend to be one. I don't share my weaknesses in order to gain any sympathy or to gain any form of understanding or to get any form of support. I do so because it is who I really am inside. I don't try to impress or put up a show for people to think of me other than what I really am. Recently, I had two encounters with healing that exposed my lack of fai...

2 Corinthians 12:7 - 9 "Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me - to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." The ambiguity lined up in this short passage is too much for my wanting mind to grasp. Was Paul's thorn a physical infirmity or was it a person who troubled him i.e. a Messenger of Satan. I was forced to look at the greek text of the passage but it didn't prove to be of much help. Instead more problematic. If the thorn was a person, why did bible translators, translated verse 7, Paul's prayer to God to remove "IT". But if the thorn was a ...

Those who know me, know that I don't mince my words. I rather tell it in the face then gossip about it. I admit in the past I have been brutal and very brutal and I am regretful, still am very regretful each time I think about the past. (sorry to those who got the brunt of it). My virtue is to say what I mean and mean what I say but the journey of discovering how to say it without the brutal part is still a learning process. I have mild down, toned down quite a bit already. (Yes, if you are looking at me with that weird and skeptical look.) I have come to experience that sometimes, I don't have to always speak my mind. Does it matter? How will that affect eternity? Somethings are best left unsaid & uncommented - it doesn't really matter. BUTTTT certain things in life do hit a raw nerve and I do not know when and how those raw nerves were left exposed or untreated. For example, the grossly inconsistent policy of "GOOD CUSTOMER SERVICE" aka "GEMS" tha...

Hai, just found out from my friend, that she will NOT be getting her handphone back today as "PROMISED" by NOkia CSO. I am wondering what is wrong again this time. They didn't even tell her what is wrong! Just wait!!!

Sometimes I pity Big Corporations. They spend hours and tonnes of money designing, creating good marketing strategies but only to have their ground staff aka CUSTOMER SERVICE flame up all their efforts, time and MONEY. It's a total waste of money. Does Good Customer Service exist in Singapore? ? ? ? What Customer Service. Just yesterday I went with my friend to the Nokia Care Centre. This is the 3rd time her newly bought Nokia 6280 is giving her problems. 12 days ago, her handphone was returned to her finally after she make a few phone calls to enquire on the status of the repair - (the service centre promised to call her 3 days later but after 3 days, no calls came). On the report, it was just some numbers that a lay person won't understand. What is "L3" repair??? She was informed that her handphone antenna was faulty so a new one was being replaced... but 12 days later, the same problem resurfaced, no network signal whatsoever. At the counter, the CSO just checked ...