You are the Potter, I am the clay

As a youth growing up, this song had a powerful 'effect' upon me everytime I sang it in church. I will sing it one of these days in church.. :) Teach me your ways Oh Lord, my God That I may walk in Your truth Give me a totally, undivided heart That I may fear Your name Purify my heart Cleanse me Lord I pray Remove from me all that is standing in the way Purify my heart Clease me Lord I Pray Remove from me all that is standing in the way Of your love ------------------------------> Lord, Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name

Took Charis for a dip today at the pool. She seemed to be 'enjoying' herself in this 'laid back' pic. I had a good time and I never knew swimming could be that relaxing. It seems that when I took into the pool and swam a few breadths with Charis, the heaviness in my head which I woke up with 'dissipated' into the waters. Honestly, I have never found swimming to have such a calming effect on me, or was it the presence of Charis that made the difference? I enjoy Charis most of the time. She is a gift (someone called her a new "toy") that I will never get tired or sick of. She's a toy that will always be 'updated' because she is growing every moment. Today she tried playing the keyboard and was wondering how come it didn't make any music because it was switched off. She turned, look at me and had that inquisitive look on her face. I simply smiled at her. "When things on earth that cause the heart to tremble, remembered w...

"Do not judge lest you be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eyes, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eyes." - Matthew 7:1-5 (NASB) Otto Fong, used this principle to counter those who decided to 'judge' him because he openly shared that he is a gay. I admire his "courage" and "determination" to be who he is - he only asked for acceptance. His disclosure risked him losing his job as a teacher in the prestigious Raffles Institution whom he had been with for 8 years and also unwanted multiples of criticisms darted towards his sexual preference. O...

Stand Still - By The Isaacs The Father has a plan. Though it's hard to see it now You feel you're walking all alone. But He is there no doubt When the storm around you rages, And you're tossed to and fro When you're faced with life's decisions, Not sure which way to go Stand still and let God move, Standing still is hard to do When you feel you have reached the end, He'll make a way for you Stand still and let God move When the enemy surrounds you, And the walls are closing in When the tide is swiftly rising, And you wonder where He's been Friend, there never was a moment, That His arms weren't reaching out You can rest assured and be secure, God is moving right now Stand still and let God move, Standing still is hard to do When you feel you have reached the end, He'll make a way for you Stand still and let God move Go to youtube.com search for Stand Still + Isaacs. Very beautiful song with meaningful lyrics.

Couldn't resist putting up this pic of her taken off Herng's phone. :P I thought by giving her a two syllabus name, there will be NO confusion in pronouncing her name. However, I was wrong. The first time we went to her paediatrician, she called her "CHAIR-RIS".. then i corrected her, it's "CARE-RIS" Then, ms chan herngwei called her "CLARIS" Then, one of the youth i spoke with online called her "CHAIRS" Looks like she can't escape the mispronouncing of her name. :) Live with it girl, all of us go through it. I've been called "ROOF", "WUTH", etc... etc...

Justine Henin wins the US Open title. Trouncing the Williams' Sisters in the same tournament. Her signature single backhand slice is what makes her stand out as a competitor and champion (at least to me). Her never give up, never say die attitude is what inspires me. Do it, lose, never mind. At least I've tried. Run to win the race!

This week, I attended two funeral wakes. As the Eulogies were delivered by the children/grand children. It makes me wonder how my Eulogy would sound like. The Christian funeral makes it all very meaningful. We remember the deceased and how he/she had added to our lives. We think of how God had placed this person in our lives for a season and how his/her values have unknowingly been imparted to us. The youngest son of Mdm Chua said that while his mum "was uneducated, she had always taught them to live honest and honorable lives". That was when I was reminded that education does not teach us to be morally upright. Literacy may not necessarily be the means to a life of integrity. The other person who passed on this week was Mr See. He is a nice and friendly man with no air of superiority or seniority. Often after the Sunday service, I would go up to him and we would chat freely without difficulties. I was often at ease with Mr See because his warm, friendly and sunny smile would...

This morning I was caught in the rain while I went for my usual marketing routine. As I waited for the rain to stop, I was forced to pause and wait. I remember telling someone on Sunday that I would rather walk to my destination then wait for the transport to come to me. I was compelled to pause. To look at the rain and think about God and life. To reflect on why pauses are necessary in life. God does not want me to cover the breadth of life only but also the depth of life as well. "Thicken the hide but not the heart" - Easy to quote but challenging to live it. It's a constant reflection of my own attitude towards service to God, towards others and how I live my life. The missions calling is still a very real part of me. I know God had spoken. This period is a pause for me, to stay faithful to the things God has called me to do. God says, the Macedonia Call" will come. It will be very very clear from Him. I will leave the "when" to God. Like...

Mysterious Baby "milkmaid" baby She seemed to be enjoying her "new look" Adrian and me having dinner together for his birthday

Missions have always been a part of me. Recently I couldn't even tell whether what I was feeling was the result of a personal ambition that needs to be fulfilled or whether God was calling and wooing me again. The lines are very blurred between the former and the latter. I have always felt passionately about it because it's the thing that always kept me looking forward. It will always be my soft spot. God has blessed us to be a blessing. Am I? I came before the Lord and surrendered myself to Him. I told the Lord that if He opens the door, no one can shut and if He shuts the door, no one can open. I choose to put myself at God's disposal and be where He wants me. I believe the day will come where I know God will speak so clearly to me that I will know that it is his will for me to pack and go, of course together with my family. I pray that Charis will learn the life of faith the moment she is able to speak, listen and understand. May our journey with God be life long lesson...

1 Corinthians 10:31 - 33 "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense either to Jews or to the Greeks or to the church of God; just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit but the profit of the many, so that they may be saved." (NASB)

Recently I find myself once again locking horns with the prosperity gospel preachers. The added intensity came when someone passed me some booklets written by John Avazini, http://www.avanziniministries.org/content/. The goal of his ministry is this: "To teach God's people the uncompromised truth about Biblical Economics while delivering an anointing for financial victory." Notice that Bibilcal Economics are in caps. Many of his 'prosperity truths' are scriptures that have been taken out of the context of the passage, misintepretated and misquoted. One example is he takes Mark 4:20 "And those are the ones on whom seed was sown on the good soil; and they hear the word and accept it and bear fruit, thirty, sixty and a hundredfold." He says the seed is the money that we have to give and the good soil is the good ministries that are around e.g. ministries that is Christ-centered and preaching the gospel. So if we accept the word (what he says of seed = money...

Charis' smile

Just watched a documentary on North Korea, through the lives of 2 girls who trained hard for the mass games i.e. NK's national day parade. They were gymnasts and their lives revolve arounds their family, school and training... Those who made the cut were selected to display their skill at the mass games. It's also from the interviews of these girls that I took a peek into the lives of the north koreans in Pyong Yang. Every household is given a radio wired up by the govt and placed in the kitchen. The radio can't be turned off except by adjusting the volume. Messages about the great leader would be played 24/7. TV programs only come on for 5 hours a day and heroes of the land would be played over and over again. Even the cartoons were about young boys and girls wanting to join the people's army and serving the general. At school, one of the history lesson shown was about the great leader and his attributes which are, Great Ideology, Great LEadership - oops i forgot the l...

My long weekend has been punctuated by wedding and wedding. 9 August was the wedding of Jachin and Yellowrose's and today, 11 August was Lester and Freda's. It's interesting that I've been in RCC for 4 years. How time flies. Jachin, Yellowrose, Lester and Freda are all the new friends I met at RCC. Thank God for them. Jachin is the highly Mr organized. He's very pleasant and what every mum would want her son to be like. Yellowrose has this calm disposition. Even her excitement is calmly exclaimed. :) Lester is the Mr Prim and Proper. Although the only child, he's surprisingly kind, pleasant and unspoilt. Sensible. Freda is Ms Prim and Proper too. She is very nice, gentle and has definite views on matters that are important to her. As I sat through their solemnization, I remembered that my wedding passed not too faraway. I would recall the vows I've made and the words given to us on our wedding day. Indeed, loving each other for better, for worse, for poorer...

Sometimes what I feel and what is real are entirely different. What I feel may not be what is factual or real. Sometimes I question the objectivity in any statement made by anybody. Isn't our objectivity still influenced by our own biaseness? ? ? I don't know. Unless our objectivity is based on facts and not presented after our own intepretation - it is still subjective I feel. I think I am not making sense but that's alright. Welcome to my complex mind. Not complex for some but quite complex to me. Lord, when? When are you sending me out? - God says his timing is perfect. I will not look at situations or circumstances. I've surrender myself to Him. I feel so passionate towards mission until I can't tell whether this passion is from God or from myself anymore. I just surrender. When the preacher, John Elliot came and gave the charge. My heart was so moved but I know I have surrendered to God too many times. I stood where I was and I told the Lord, Lord, you know my ...

This is a long overdue post. End of June, Adrian and myself attended a movie screening in church. The title of the movie was "Facing the giants". The main theme of the movie is to have faith in God regardless of circumstances and we can conquer the giants we face in our lives. The main story revolves around a high school football team, his coach, his wife and family. The coach was on the brink of losing his job because he wasn't able to lead the football team to win on the local league. However, as He surrendered himself to God and really challenged his team about playing for God and for his honour, the team began to taste victory. The message i received from this show was, "Prepare for rain". There was this elderly man who kept praying for the students that they might be spiritually revived. When he was being asked why he kept doing this without seeing any results, he said he was preparing for rain. The final outcome of the story was Shiloh Eagles, the high sch...

It's been almost 10 weeks and I am finally returning to work. For the last 10 weeks, I've experienced motherhood at its worst and at its best. Whether good or bad, motherhood has certainly brought some growth in my life experience and you can call it a milestone. I feel that I have 'matured' a little bit - haha. It's very strange that now, I think like a parent instinctively - it's really wierd that now I can offer some good reasons to why some parents do the things they do or say the things they say. I want to be the mother who will express clearly my love and affection to her. I was raised in a culture where my parents do not say what they mean or do not mean what they say. They may have meant well but when it comes out of their mouth, it can sound so wrong, so unloving, so nagging, so irritating... probably it might have been the way my parents themselves were brought up. I think being a mother has changed me quite a bit. I am progressively being thawed by Ch...

The Church I go to will soon be going through a rebuilding project. It is exciting times ahead and a season of faith for many of us. Currently there's a fund raising project that plans to raise 1 million within a month. This new initiative is on top of the monthly pledge that we've put in. Certainly God has been stretching my faith and I see myself responding to him. Not that I have an astronomical figure written on the card but certainly I knew God had stretched me... The pledge is also called the sacrifiical faith pledge which calls for a change of lifestyle and a call to give even if we do not have the amount yet. I hesitate about pledging an amount that I do not even have yet in my bank a/c - aka faith pledge... maybe for me, it's more a sacrificial pledge which requires faith and sacrifice at the same time. My thoughts kept drifting back to the account of Jesus, when he praised the widow who gave her two mites as one who gave her all. Not that I am seeking the praise b...