Skip to main content

the stronger 'half'

Over at lunch yesterday, there was a comment about the stronger gf/wives. I readily admitted that I am the stronger 'half' at home. I used to think that being strong is not a good thing. As a girl, I should be quiet, demure in every aspect of my mannerism. I've known of strong women being labeled 'aggressive', 'demanding', 'domineering' and 'jezebellic' and honestly, I detest such labels as they are as sweeping as the labels sounds.

I am strong in my opinions, value systems, beliefs and I express them when I am 'triggered'. Hence I am not the nice, subservient person/woman/wife as commonly thought of, desired of. I'm not the "yes" person who agrees for the sake of harmony or preserving harmony although there are times when a matter does not call for my views and it is not so important then I will readily comply. However, when a matter is really of significance and importance to me, I will not hesitate to express myself even if it means rocking the boat that I am on as well.

The stronger side of me shouts the loudest and makes me who I am as perceived by others. That's ok, I accept myself for who I am and I am not asking anybody reading this to accept me for who I am. It's ok not to, I won't lose sleep over it.

I think for me, it's important to know when to step back and when to submit. Being someone who had opinions is not a sin, it's a sin when I become difficult, unreasonable and oppose for the sake of opposing. Opinionated to a point that I refuse to consider the viewpoints of others and evaluate my own conclusions. As a wife, I need to listen to what my husband has to say about certain matters. Sometimes even in the household, we have to agree to disagree and he'll make the final decision for the family. It's ok with me as I believe this is the 'order' for the home, if the principle of submission IS NOT observed, there'll certainly be disorder.

To be strong to have opinions about matters is not wrong. just know when to step back and submit.

Comments

r.u.t.h. said…
well, socially it does i suppose.
there are expectations of what a wife should beeeeeeeeeee and i happen not to 'fit into a typical stereotype'
r.u.t.h. said…
he is definitely, otherwise wouldn't have got married.

Popular posts from this blog

it's a girl!

Ok. after a long wait. Finally... the gynae is able to confirm that the baby is a girl. Although the disclaimer clause states 80% - 90% accuracy. :) Quite happy that every 'structure' is in place. She has 2 eyes, one nose, one mouth. two hands with five fingers on each hand, a beating heart, 2 kidneys, one stomach a brain... , one tiny head, feet measuring 3cm each and liver... (the nurse in the clinic used the word 'structure' so .....) The detailed scan is suppose to detect any abnormalities so the result so far is normal.... Curious to find out though what she will look like. I am thinking of keeping long hair for her but daddy says, no, short hair better. So, till then... we shall see. yup and not forgetting to keep praying for her to be a teachable and moldable kid and one who will love God always.

truth hurts but it heals too

2 nights ago, I asked a very close friend of mine if I am an insistent person. Haha.. without any second thoughts, she said yes. Wow, that drove a long nail right through my heart. If you ask, you'll get the answers. Of course, initially I would think to myself, I do not think I am an insistent person all the time but I only insist when I am sure about certain things close to my heart i.e. when I have been seeking God about it or it is IN my system due to long periods of conditioning e.g. spiritually or just my personal value system. That analysis certainly made me felt better but it also got me reflecting (truth heals). As I thought through, certainty about something for me will activate a wish/desire to see it happen immediately and NOW. If it is God's will, it is NOW. As I look back on buying our first flat, it was the same. When I first view the unit (my current place), I was quite sure that the house was IT. But my then fiance and husband now do not think so and asked me

6 weeks plus & 4.5mm

I went to the gynae yesterday. For the first time, I heard and saw the baby's heartbeat through the ultrasound scan. It's quite amazing at this point. The gynae told me that the baby is not feeding from me yet, it is attached to a yolk and the yolk is where it draws its nutrients from. It's just great to think that when God created the reproduction system, God saw to every detail. I wonder where did the yolk come from and how it is attached to the baby. It's a mystery to me but it causes me to sing yet again in praise to God. When people heard that I was pregnant, they would expressed their excitement in WOWS & YAYS. For myself, I didn't had such an expression. When I found out that I was pregnant via the test kit, I went "Oh, I am pregnant" - as a matter of factly. Similarly, when Adrian found out that I was pregnant, he had the same response as me. We weren't into screaming the whole house/neighbourhood down. For us, it was sober and thoughtful.