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Showing posts from November, 2006

random thoughts

Firstly, I must begin by thanking God for 'repairing' my handphone. Over the the last week, it kept hanging and rebooting by itself. I finally grasp the phone in my hand and prayed that my handphone will function normally again, and from that saturday on, it didn't reboot nor hung up on me. Thank God - otherwise i will have to buy a new phone because of the line contract. Eversince our PM made announcement about the proposal to increase GST by another 2% which makes it 7%, there has been much talk. There's a good reason why. The reason for increasing direct taxes is of course to improve revenue so that our lives will improve but most importantly, the lower income group will benefit from this exercise. Honestly, I do not understand how our lives will improve. Health care is still a potential liability. Our children's education will not be free - eventhough primary, secondary, jc fees are considered relatively reasonable. (well thank God for education) From a either s

"boasting" about weaknesses

I am just thinking, why am I so honest sometimes about my failings? Just before I begun leading worship last week, I told the congregation that sometimes we grumble and complain more than we give thanks to God. As I told the congregation to give thanks to God, He pointed out to me my lack of thanksgiving that Sunday morning. I was completely honest about it and held nothing back as I shared with the congregation that I was grumbling about how slowly my husband was driving from home to church. Instead of thanking God for the car (because my brother is away for one month), I grumbled. Confession is good for the soul because the next time before I grumble, I will remember that I had repented from it and that I should refrain my flesh from doing so. Paul in 2 Cor 11:30 (NLT), "If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am."He repeats this phrase again in 2 Cor 12:5 "... I am going to boast only about my weaknesses." In context, He had re

Reflections on worship leading - 191106

I was told not to put an unfamiliar song as the starting song for the song set. The simple reason being, if the congregation (those at the back of the sanctuary), do not know the first song well enough to sing it, they will switch off for the rest of the songs that would follow. Until now, I still quite disagree with it. My simple and plain observation is this, the people at the back do not usually sing, whether familiar or unfamiliar. I have tried putting two hymns back to back on my song set but sometimes they simply do not sing and/or worship. Yes, we as worship leaders should serve the congregation. I fully agree but I wavered. I wavered at whether I should serve people's lousy attitude (not wanting to learn the song and switching off simply because they are unfamiliar with the first song i.e. wanting to be served instead) or simply making worship accessible. At last, I decided to change the order on my song set. I began by singing a familar song (although I still did not quite

Managing expectations

For a long while since, I have never felt the pressure to live up to anybody's expectations. I usually make my own decision and I really don't bother with what others think about my decision. HOWEVER, this time round I feel so 'caught'. What would I do after I give birth. Will I quit my job and stay home full time to look after my kid? This question plagues me. We are exploring the options and we are open to what God will say to us. I know God can speak against my personal desires and I am willing to submit to Him as long as it is what God is saying. As of now, i am not inclined to quit from my job but I can feel that there are expectations for me from others to do so. To me, the call to full time ministry has been one that came from the Lord (one of the most major decisions in my life i ever had to make), so to quit, I need to hear from Him. That's the great dilemma I am in now. Should I just make a maternalistic and logical decision and do what I am expected to do

A Vessel

I can't perform the miracle, make someone feel better or convert someone by my sheer eloquence. There is nothing in me. I have nothing. I am only a vessel, a channel that God in his grace and mercy chooses to use. Neither am I a worm but I know where I am in God. I am His servant, Paul often referred himself as the bondslave of Christ. A bondslave is one who had been set free and returns freely to serve his master. The key is, service and servant. He does what the Master asks of him and in this, will be the servant's delight i.e. that the Master's task is done and He is pleased with my service. I am still trying to understand what it means to be satisfied in God. Why do I love Jesus? Is it because of what He can do for me? I'm still meditating. What if He doesn't answer an important prayer I make and say YES? Will i still love Him? Why do I love Jesus? I am still searching my heart. Before I know why, I will still love Him and serve Him. I am only a valueless, weak

About Worship

What is worship? The word first appeared in Genesis 22:5 "Stay here with the donkey, and I and the lad will go over there; we will worship and return to you." Abraham was about to take Isaac and offer to the Lord as he was being instructed. It is interesting to note that the first understanding of worship from the bible was not about songs and music. Worship is first of all obedience to the Lord our Creator and Giver, and that obedience resulted in sacrifice of the highest price. I firmly believe that worship is not just about the songs we sing on sundays or songs we sing sing during a gathering of believers. It is the overflowing expression of our love and obedience for the Lord that causes us to sing with love, with joy, with awe, with admiration to the Lord. Without an abiding relationship with God on a daily basis, our singing to Him will mean nothing to Him but noise. Amos 5:21 - 24 (NASB) "I hate, I reject your festivals, Nor do I delight in your solemn assemblies.

the power of money

Had a good dinner with a friend and was discussing about the power of money. It is so invisible yet so powerful. With money, lots of things can be done. One can buy shelter, food, luxury, status, friendship, comfort, image, style, convenience etc... that's why we do everything we can to obtain it. Once you have it, you almost have the world. The force is so powerful, some spend their entire life chasing after it. Jesus often challenged about serving either God or Money. If we serve one, we can't serve the other. The quest for wealth will distract us from the pursuits of God and His will. Yet the love of money is such a silent killer. We never know how it has a hold on us until we are drawn into its invincible realm. There are many ways to justify this quest i.e. be responsible, provide for your family and all that. Beneath the disguise is an addiction to the power money brings. Having loads of it makes one feels in control, in charge. Especially in this world where dollars and

Ted:

Ok, by now everybody knows that the Pastor of a Mega Church in Colorado Springs has admitted to charges on "sexual immoral conducts". (you can google ted haggard to find out more). No, I am not about to criticize him. I've heard this man before. Very eloquent and is Spirit Filled. Speaks with conviction and is gentle in his challenge. I was surprised as well when I read the news. He has issued a letter of apology but is now on leave from the Church. I am not sure the extend of his "sexual immoral conducts" but well.. a spade is a spade. It's interesting my post yesterday was on "character". It's a sober reminder that everyone of us is not exempted from Satan's attack. The origin of sin began with deception. Satan lures us to believe in lies before he leads us into his trap. He is the Systematic Tempter, never underestimate him. If we do not posture ourselves to walk in humility i.e. I need someone to help me see my blindspots, walk in tr

The Shape of Character

Yesterday nite at LG, we were asked, how has God been shaping us? I remembered years ago, God showed me two pictures. One was a picture of a raw ore and the other was the picture of a sparkling diamond. God said He would shape me and mould me from the ore into the diamond. Years later as I evaluate how God has shaped me, all I can say is that I have become a more patient person than I was years ago. I've learnt to let things take its shape and let God step in when it is not my time to do anything or say anything. Yet it's not my past that God wants me to measure myself against i.e "how bad I was and how better I have become". The molding process never stops and continues on. Before I pat myself on the shoulder too quickly, God has placed even more patient people around me. One is my fellow colleague and friend and the other my husband. Each time I am about to congratulate myself for having come 'so far' in my journey, I look at these people whose patience e