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Exactly 1 month

I am exactly 1 month away from my due date. Ask me, am I excited? I'll probably give you a very melancholic look. Maybe it's because I am seldom excitable. For me, the journey ahead has not yet begun and I face it with a degree of apprehension. Thoughts like, "Will i be a good mother", "Will my daughter turn out well" can sometimes overwhelm me. I have to intentionally l surrender and not be overly anxious. It's a new thing. It's a new challenge. This challenge is something I have never encountered and each step along the way, I'll learn to seek God and his guidance. I can read many books but ultimately it's the wisdom that God gives that will enable me to be a good parent.

There are so many people who has experience on parenting yet each experience is unique to the individual. While there's general truth about some experiences, the variable factor is that each child is unique. It's like when some people look at my tummy and overall countenance, they will say, "You are having a boy" sharp, pointed tummy, etc... etc... But the ultra sound scan shows a girl... ! :)

Oh, by the way we have decided to call her Charis which means Grace/Favour in greek and Rui Min which means Intelligent and Compassionate in mandarin. After many rounds of discussion, both of us finally reached a common agreement and I believe this is IT. Thank God.

We have also engaged a helper to help us look after Charis, Rui Min after I return to work. This may sound controversial to some ears but I believe it's the best for us if not ideal. Arnik is from Indonesia, 25 years old and has 1 1/2 years of working experience with another christian home. She was highly recommended by her employers. We met up with her and spoke to her. She's able to speak english and seemed a pleasant person at first look. Her employer had to be posted overseas and so had to give her up. It was really a raw deal and the good thing is, non of us got exploited by the agent. I was quite uncomfortable with getting a new maid without any experience, the exorbitant fee of 2.3K to engage a new one was also a deterrant. While the agency promised 2 replacement, I am still uncomfortable with having to keep changing and the 2.3K commitment will require us to stick to 8 months of employing a helper in the event that things really turn sour. With Arnik, she has no loan to repay anymore and will continue another 2 years with us. That's quite sufficient for a start.

Of course with this arrangement, I have to handle 'raised eyebrows' when I tell them but I think I just have to live with it. The good thing is my buddies are giving me the moral support. I know they have their reservations as well and their advise are the spillovers of good intentions, yet at this point of time, their support is most valuable and cherished. Thank you buddies, you know who you are.

I pray for a smooth delivery on my due date and speedy recovery from the childbirth.

Comments

sunshin3 said…
all the best! :)

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